


Dear Adrien Agreste

by redefinemyworld



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) Actor RPF, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Fluff, Chloé Bourgeois Redemption, Evil Nathalie Sancoeur, F/M, Fake Character Death, Hurt Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Marichat | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Identity Reveal, Miraculous Ladybug AU, Protective Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Supportive Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), dear evan hansen au, song-fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26644417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redefinemyworld/pseuds/redefinemyworld
Summary: Dear Evan Hansen AUFake SuicideAdrien finds out his father is Hawkmoth and this becomes the straw on the camels back. He decides it is time to end Adrien Agreste for good. Moonlighting as Chat Noir for good, he ends up in awkward situations causing him to fake a friendship with himself.Behind the scenes. we see the reactions of the people left behind and how they feel. Would the guilt he feels for the people left behind let him bring Adrien back or is this really the end of Adrien Agreste.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Alya Césaire, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Chloé Bourgeois, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Nathalie Sancoeur, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Plagg, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth & Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng/Tom Dupain
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	1. (Prelude) Dear Adrien Agreste

There was much to be said about the severity of a situation when Plagg, the Kwami of Destruction and Chaos, was worried. Plagg could help but notice the shallowness in his charge's cheeks and the dark bruises under his eyes, or how dry and dim his eyes had become from blinking away tears before they could ever fall. 

Adrien Agreste was fading away. The sunshine that had lived within his heart and warmed those around him was growing cold. His little star had overheated and caved in on itself, just a push away from forming a black hole. 

Plagg did not know what to do. He was the Kwami of Destruction, he was meant to watch things fall apart but not his holders. The point of giving Plagg to someone as pure-hearted as Adrien was for his light to be able to shine Plagg's Darkness. He was meant to be able to wield the Destruction from becoming a weapon and turning it into a tool. 

But Destruction, it had seemed, had turned its back on the young man. 

Plagg had lived many aeons. He had seen everything there had to be seen in the ways of pain and hurt. He was blamed for most of it, sometimes unjustly and other times fairly but it was just the way the wheel of life was meant to turn. Some time's, bad things happen to good people. 

And this was one of those Times. 

"Plagg," his voice cracked through the darkness. Plagg allowed himself to press light pressure on the boy's chest from where he was resting atop his heart. His broken, beaten heart. "Will it ever stop hurting?" 

Plagg had lived a very long time. He knew a thing or two about pain. The betrayal of your father being your worst enemy cut deep. 

"Yes," he replied. 

The wounds would heal. But the scars would always remain. 


	2. Anybody Have A Map?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another stellar conversation for the scrapbook  
> Another stumble as I'm reaching for the right thing to say  
> I'm kinda coming up empty  
> Can't find my way to you

Adrien got dressed for school slowly and morosely. Plagg watched from the corner as he pulled a dark hoodie over his head and paired it with an old pair of jeans and the orange converse he hadn’t worn since he turned sixteen.

Plagg swallowed a piece of camembert in his hand and floated up to his chosen, “Come on, Adrien. I know what you found out sucks, but on the bright side, you’re going to school today. You’ll be able to see your DJ friend and the Ladyblogger and they always make you laugh when they bicker.” Adrien remained silent. “You’ll get to see Pigtails.” Plagg almost missed the slight pause of reaction as Adrien combed his hair. 

“Plagg,” his voice cracked. “I’m only going to school to get out of this house. But I,” he paused, trying to force air into his lungs, “I cannot pretend that nothing is wrong. I cannot look at them and pretend my father is not the man who has been making their lives hell since they were fourteen and they met me.” His voice steeled with self-loathing, the kind that scared Plagg.

“Kid,” Plagg began.

A knock on the door interrupted Plagg’s words and alerted Adrien that it was time for him to get in the car to get to school. Adrien opened the door and saw Nathalie standing there. Her eyes were empty, her facial expression was blank and her usual tablet was hugged to her chest closing herself off from any open emotion. Adrien had never seen Nathalie relaxed. Adrien used to think it was just the way she was and that at some times when her eyes softened slightly, that it was her caring about him. Looking back on everything, Adrien realised she never cared. She just felt sorry for him. She probably figured if his mom was in some kind of coma and his dad was a supervillain and she was going to be his sidekick, the poor kid should have a few friends.

He decided he didn’t need her pity.

What would have once been a soft good morning and smile to his father’s apathetic assistant became a slight shoulder shove as he pushed past her. He didn’t bother to wait for her so they could walk down the stairs together. He walked straight past the dining room where he was meant to have breakfast, completely ignoring what would have been a plain breakfast of a sunny side egg on a slice of whole-grain, low GI, wheat toast. He had no energy to force himself to swallow down the dry meals his father hired a dietician to shove down his throat.

“Adrien, you need to have breakfast.”

“Shut up, Nathalie.”

Nathalie didn’t pause. “You’ll need the energy since after school you’ll have a three-hour photoshoot  _ if  _ all goes well then fencing practice one-on-one with your coach to make up for what you missed. Then you need to freshen up for Mandarin--”

“Nathalie,  _ shut up. _ Even if I cared about what you have to say you’d have to be an idiot to believe that the stupid breakfast you’re badgering on about will actually make a difference on how much energy I have today. So just, shut up.”

With that, he walked away before she could muster up a reply.

He walked out of the doors and past his bodyguard’s car. His bodyguard tried to go after him but Adrien just shrugged off his large hand. His bodyguard grunted, trying to get the young man’s attention.

“I’ll walk to school,” Adrien mumbled loud enough to be heard. The Gorilla grabbed his shoulder, dragging him back. Adrien turned around, his eyes blazing the fire of someone who held the Black Cat Miraculous. “Leave me alone. Don’t touch me, don’t follow me. I  _ will  _ walk to school.”

It was freeing to be able to march to the beat of his own drum. He was getting sick of his father’s overbearing ways. He had been sick of his father’s overbearing ways for the past four years. It just took finding out he was his mortal enemy for him to actually  _ do  _ something about it. How pathetic.

Adrien noticed he had made it all the way to the park in his angered power walk. He took a seat on one of the park benches to give himself a chance to calm down. He tried to let good thoughts float through his mind but every wonderful thought he had was completely squashed by the thought of his father bulldozing in and stepping on Marinette’s macaroons that she brought just for him, or pulling the plug on a beat he and Nino were listening to, or censoring Alya as they read through the Ladyblog, or sending one of his Akuma to blast the smile off Ladybug’s face. 

In some way or another, his father was able to ruin what made him happy.

“Plagg, I hate my life.”

“Kit, it will get better. Just keep holding on.”

Adrien rested his head against the back of the bench, closing his eyes from the rest of the world while Plagg looked towards the bakery across the street hoping for a saving grace.

///

"Marinette, you're going to be late for your last first day of school," her mother's voice floated up to her room. The sing-song tones her mom used caused Marinette to groan. Every first-day school ended up the same, with Marinette late school and Sabine laughing as her daughter psyched herself up for what she had dubbed the annual Agreste Glow-Up. 

Every single year without fail, Adrien would show up to school looking  _ that _ much hotter than he did the last year. The summer of their fifteenth year, Adrien had a voice that serenaded Marinette with its deep timber. When they moved onto sixteen, Adrien had  _ grown.  _ Broad shoulders that towered over her and hair that flopped over his eyes when he had to look down to smile at her, had her swooning nearly four times a day. By seventeen, Marinette had walked into school prepared for whatever change he'd bring with him. She'd walked to school with a slightly larger bra size and her hair down in order to even the scores ever so slightly but Marinette was  _ robbed.  _ Adrien flipped the switch by growing internally and externally by gaining the confidence to use his newly acquired cheekbones and smirk at her. 

_ Not fair.  _

And still, despite the years that flew by and all the work Adrien tried to put into their friendship, she had to take a step back from him. If she ever got too close to Adrien, Marinette knew she'd break her own heart. After she found out about Adrien being in love with someone else and his brief relationship with Kagami four years ago, it hurt too much to keep trying to stay close to him. So Marinette and Adrien will always have to remain friends by circumstance. 

Marinette flattened her hands against her skirt, and shook out her fingers, letting the bangles around her wrist jingle slightly. The charm bracelet she wrapped around her ankle remained silent and inconspicuous, the only indicator of her feelings. 

She grabbed her bag and made to leave her room before her mother called her again. Tikki flew into the girl's purse and popped her head out to look at her holder. 

"So, how are you going to make the best of your last year of high school, Marinette?" Tikki asked. Tikki hoped that the answer would be along the lines that Marinette would pluck up and tell Adrien she liked him. It was painful seeing her break her own heart by not taking a chance on a boy who seemed to be falling in love with her too.

Marinette opened her trapdoor. 

At the bottom of the stairs stood Marinette’s mother, a strained look on her face.

Marinette looked at her mother inquisitively. “Is something wrong?”

“Sweetie, I need you to take a deep breath and remain calm.” Marinette made her way down the ladder into the family room. She was still slightly taller than her mom even on flat ground but she still let the calming authority of her mother wash over her.

“What is it, mom?” she asked, feeling hesitant to receive the answers.

“Honey, Adrien is across the street looking like he needs a friend. So, please could you give him the pastries your dad made for him.”

Sabine reached for the pastries on the kitchen counter and shoved them into Marinette’s hands. Marinette could barely get a word in edgewise before her mom was pushing her out the door and shoving her school bag onto her shoulders. 

“Wait, but mom--”

“Bye, sweetie,” her mother sang. “Tell him to come over for dinner at some point.” Marinette watched shocked as her mother closed the door with a wink.

Marnette sighed and looked down at the Kwami giggling from her side bag, “It’s official, Tikki. I think it’s time I put my parents up for adoption.”

Marinette walked out of the side door alley and finally was able to see a despondent Adrien Agreste looking like a dark cloud in what was a beautiful spring day. Tikki looked up at her charge with a knowing smile, “Or maybe they know that you’re exactly what that boy needs.”

Marinette looked up at Adrien and bit her lip. She tried to avoid getting too close to Adrien but she still cared about him, way more than what was good for her. She bit her lip and clutched the box of pastries tighter. Walking past green grass in the near-empty park to the boy she had been in love with for four years, Mariette planned what she would say when she got to him.

Before she knew it, she was standing in front of him. “Adrien, are you okay?”

A sardonic chuckle crawled out his mouth. He cracked one eyelid open and a pained smile crawled across his face. “Depends on your definition of okay.”

Marinette did not know how to reply to that. She fidgeted slightly on her feet and placed her bag on the ground. She let herself sit on the bench carefully, avoiding invading his personal space. “I’m here if you feel like talking.”

“I don’t really feel like talking, Marinette,” he growled.

Marinette pressed her lips together and stayed silent. This was a completely different Adrien than she was used to. She had no idea how to proceed from there. Maybe distancing herself from him had been a mistake. “Uhm, then… we’ll just not talk.”

Neither of them said anything after that. The birds chirped and a group of middle-aged women did a pilates class on a patch of space in the middle of the park. “Marinette, have you ever felt like the entire world is against you.”

Marinette laughed, “You’re kidding, right? Anxious Marinette who had Chloe and Lila bully her within an inch of her life not knowing how it feels to have the world against her? Highly unlikely.”

Adrien opened his eyes and finally looked at her, “Does it ever get better?”

Marinette smiled slightly and handed him the box of pastries. “My parents told me to give these to you. And, to answer your question, it does get better if you have the right people there to stand with you. You weren’t there when I was the girl people stayed away from to avoid being targeted by Chloe but Alya came and made it better. And when Lila was treating me like a leper, you were there to make sure everyone knew who to stand behind and you helped me through it. So, no matter what happens you have me to stand right beside you.”

Adrien stared at her. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”

She smiled hopefully. “Only if it helps.” She bit her lip, “ _ Did _ it help?”

“Not really,” he said honestly. The smile fell off her face, “But, it did help me feel better.” he took her hand into his and finally sat up straight. “Thank you.”

///

Adrien felt bad for lying to Marinette. It would have helped him feel better if he didn’t feel like she’d leave the moment she found out about his dad. After all, Adrien was raised on conditional love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the first official Chapter of Dear Adrien Agreste for all Dear Evan Hansen and Miraculous Ladybug Fans. I have never actually seen the play, only heard the soundtrack so I'm taking all the liberties. I hope you guys enjoy.


	3. Waving Through a Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've learned to slam on the breaks before I've even turned the keys.

Adrien liked being at school. It gave him time to think about everything else. Adrien was far ahead with his studies when he joined public school and he found being Chat Noir along with his other commitments were much easier to handle if he didn't have to spend too long studying for their next chemistry test. So he never allowed the course work to catch up with him, remaining at least five steps ahead at all times. 

So while he was at school, he let his mind run wild. He thought about this morning and his insubordination. He has basically told Natalie and his bodyguard to screw off in the same five minutes. He knew his father would never let him get away with it. Gabriel Agreste's mantra had always been 'Children were meant to be seen, not heard.' For Adrien to speak out against those who had a higher standing than him in his father's eyes-- even if it was in his own home-- was basically a direct insult to his father. His father had never tolerated anything would have made Adrien become more than the little puppet he had spent years creating. 

Adrien listened to the lecture half-heartedly wondering what his father would do if he decided to rebel completely. What would his father say if he got a piercing, a tattoo, put on some eyeliner and stopped wearing Gabriel brand. His good boy image would surely be tarnished but Adrien was also sure he'd look incredibly attractive in a 'the-boy-your-parents-warned-about' vibe. It would be something different that was for sure. And while the thought was entertaining, the truth of Adrien's character pushed its way to the forefront of his mind. It wasn't him. Adrien was just too soft. Despite Luka being living proof that you can be a soft person and bad boy/rockstar sexy, he couldn't steal Luka's brand.

Adrien knew where he fell in the social hierarchies in life. To the elite, he was the heir to a multimillion euro fashion design company; to his fans, he was an idol and to some an unofficial husband or senpai; to girls like Chloe and Lila, he was a means to an end and meant to be nothing but the rich arm candy they toted around and eventually used to help create a few bratty offspring to keep up appearances. But to his friends, his real friends, Adrien was someone. He was their sunshine child. He was someone who, based on their words, made the room a little brighter just by walking in and could power all of Paris with his laugh. Adrien liked the fact that his presence and personality lit up his friends' lives. 

If only the same could be said for his family. 

The pencil in his hand snapped. From the corner of his eye he noticed Nino turn to look at him with a concerned look. He offered a placating smile to his best friend and took out another pencil then went on writing his notes as if nothing had happen. 

How would his friends react if they found out he was the son of Hawkmoth? Adrien knew that based on their track record, they'd probably support him and help him in anyway possible but he couldn't burden them like that. His friends had been supposing him emotionally for the longest time, to the point that he felt bad he couldn't do anything for them. He didn't know how to offer love the same way they did. He came from a broken home with a messed up father who gave a messed up love so that obviously meant however Adrien would love would be messed up too. 

They'd be better off without him. 

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He raised a hand and with a voice thick with heartache, asked for the bathroom. He dashed out of the room the moment permission was given. 

He thought he would have been ready for the school year. He had believed the distraction of school would make him feel better. It did not. 

The halls and lockers blurred as he stumbled to the furthest bathroom to avoid Nino coming after him. 

He stumbled in and locked the only door behind him. He put his weight on the closed door and began to slide to the ground. Adrien fought through the synthetic, rosy smell of urinal soaps for fresh air. 

"Kid, you need to calm down," Plagg told him. 

Tears streamed down Adrien's face as he responded to his little companion. "I'm. Trying!" he gasped. 

Plagg looked around nervously, hoping he wouldn't see a butterfly molded of shadows approaching his chosen. Plagg knew that Adrien was not in a good emotional state. It seemed that he was going through the different stages of grief and after the denial and indifference he had experienced, the emotions and truth of the matter were hitting him like a train. 

Adrien fought with his lungs, using breathing exercises that had been taught to all the students by their student counsellor. It was mandatory that every student go to a session once a month to evaluate their emotional health and whether or not they're a push away from akumatization. 

He could not get akumatized. He could not let his father win. Adrien pushed past his panic. In and out. Deeply and slowly. 

He forced himself up on his weak knees to the sink. He grabbed it, clenching until his knuckles turned white. He stared himself in the mirror and forced himself to pull it together. He watched his pupils constrict to pinprick, showing him that the worst part of his panic has disappeared. 

And that's when Adrien got angry. His father had to large of an affect on him. On his emotions. It pissed him off. He hated that Hawkmoth had been living under his roof and raising him. Looking in the mirror he noticed his lips had been pulled back into a snarl and Plagg was looking at him with mild concern. 

Adrien took another deep breath before his anger got the best of him. He splashed water on his face allowing the refreshing properties that water has to sink into his pores dilute his toxic thoughts. 

"Hello, Adrien. Your father is Hawkmoth. But that's okay, you wanna know why?" he mumbled to his reflection. "It's okay, because you're Chat Noir. A superhero that has been assigned to protect Paris from him and strip him of his power," Adrien stopped and forced the air back into his lungs. He shouldn't be getting angry again. "You have Ladybug, though. She helps you fight the bad guys, meaning you won't have to fight him alone. You're golden, Sunshine." 

He threw his reflection a smile and watched his walls rebuild into something slightly more solid than the weak picket fence that he had protecting his heart before. 

He went to open the door and noticed Marinette standing there, her hand curled into a fist prepared to knock on the door. She was looking at her shoes, biting her lip in conflict. Adrien stood there for a little and watched her. With his mind a little more in order, he couldn't help but appreciate how pretty she looked. He was glad that he got the chance to watch her grow into the beautiful woman she had become. 

He smirked as the pout on her face grew as she wondered whether she should knock. Only Marinette could manage to be so in her thoughts that she wouldn't even notice that he's in front of her. He chuckled slightly. If anyone could manage to cheer him up, it was Marinette. 

"What brings you here, Little lady?" he asked, mirth coating his words. 

Marinette, startled, slipped out of her trance and looked up at him with wide eyes. The prettiest shade of blue looked up at him with so much concern that Adrien almost broke and confessed his demons right then and there. 

Almost. 

"I… I noticed after our conversation earlier that you still weren't okay so after you excused yourself, I decided to follow you. You know? Um, just in case you needed a hug or something," she mumbled as she fiddled with her fingers. She tilted her head downwards to avoid having to make anymore eye contact with him. 

Adrien's smirk softened into a smile. He reached out and put two fingers under her chin, tilting it upwards so that she'd look at him. He ran his eyes over her face, every freckle, eyelash and the tiny imperfections such as her pimple scars left him mesmerised. 

"I'll be okay, Marinette," he reassured her. He pulled her into his body and wrapped his arms around her. He waited slightly for the stiffness in her body due to shock to subside and soon enough he was receiving one of the best hugs of his life. 

For as long as he could remember, Adrien had been instructed to only speak when spoken to and that his real personality was not proper or beneficial to his father in any way. For as long as he could remember, it was like he was placed in a room with a one sided mirror and he was tasked with showing the world his prim airs, leaving the real him to suffer silently where nobody could see. But wrapped in the arms of Marinette-- she was someone who had been there for him since his first day of high school and had seen him grow into himself, remained tolerant of the restrictions his father placed upon him and always graced him with a smile, no matter how awkward she felt-- there was literally nowhere else he had ever felt so safe and  _ seen.  _

Maybe somebody  _ was  _ waving back. 

Slowly, he pulled away from her and allowed himself to place a soft kiss on her cheek. "Thank you so much, Nette," he rasped out. 

A tiny whimper was all that left the mouth of the stunned girl. Adrien allowed himself the luxury to take her hand and lead her to class, not realising that he was assisting her legs to remember that their function was to walk, not melt. 

///

His little chat and hug with Marinette had helped him set the tone for the rest of the day. He could never forget his father was Hawkmoth because that wasn't something one could just eject from the mind, but he did manage to prevent it from affecting the rest of his day. He was able to focus when he was meant to, no surprise panic attacks and managed to interact with the rest of general society. 

But then the worst thing that could happen, happened. In his second last period, the city wide Akuma Attack Alert went off, pulling him from notes about genetics that the class was meant to summarise from the PowerPoint pushed to their devices. 

Adrien froze. He didn't know what to do. As Chat Noir he was meant to fight the Akuma but as his father's son he was meant to sit back and do what his father required of him. 

Adrien shook off his hesitance. He had a job to do. He owed it to Paris, to Ladybug and to himself. He let his body lead him through the motions of being excused to find some place to transform for that battle that would soon take place. 

Adrien had never before had a reason to hate his father. For every single act his father had committed against him, Adrien had some kind of excuse. When his father forced him into lessons, Adrien excused it by saying his father just wanted him to be the best. When his father locked him away from school and went out with his friends, Adrien said it was him being over-protective. When his father made him a model, Adrien thought his dad was just trying to find a way to spend time with him. 

But as Adrien watched Ratman unleash his rats upon innocent bystanders, he couldn't find an excuse. His father was a tyrant. Plain and simple. 

As he looked at Ladybug, the anger he felt for his father was stronger than ever. The fact that Adrien had allowed himself to be the man's puppet for so long affected him worse than anything. 

Well, no more! With that he threw himself into the fray, a plan to get revenge on his father and escape his iron fist rules hatching. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! It's been a hoooott minute since I've posted Anything. Not even gonna lie it was mostly because I've been lazy, but also writing the last chapters of reputation is hard and if you're here from Marinette's Glow Up I hope to have a chapter up by Sunday, maybe. If not then it will be here on DAA because I have a chapter halfway done for either it just depends on how I feel.
> 
> Also I have begun a podcast called Alexa, Play Despacito. It's more coming of age in genre and style so if you are interested then please do check it out on Spotify.
> 
> Other than that, I have been missing you guys and I have been missing my stories, it's just that I've been sucked into the kdrama world (yikes!!) and its been hard to get free because they are so good. I even found myself making a Master list of Kdramas I need to finish but there's like 160 of them soooo, if I disappear again. That's where I am.
> 
> Anyways guys, I hope you enjoy and I'll see you on my next update (or even my podcast, hopefully.) please don't be afraid to interact with me on Tumblr at redefinemyworld. I'm also on the huge MiraculousDiscord server if you wanna try finding me. I just don't talk much because I'm really bad at using discord but check it out, it's full of amazing people.
> 
> That's all I have for today so see you guys later.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like this.  
> Don't forget to comment and leave kudos.  
> Sincerely, me.


End file.
